#1.
I'm sick of people saying bread isn't good for you… Jesus did not say he was the broccoli of life ok??? Give us this day our daily kale??
— tweets (julia’s version) (@JustbeingJuls) September 28, 2016
#2.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful.
— Naazihah (@naazihah) January 23, 2013
#3.
I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta…so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.
— Black Cat Bettie (@BlackCatBettie) January 29, 2013
#4.
It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.
— Nobody (@innocent_knave) April 8, 2016
#5.
*walks up to microphone during wedding reception*
*taps on mic; everyone smiles*
"Anyone that doesn't want their cake, pass it to me please"— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) July 25, 2015
#6.
Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta
— Deirdre (@figgled) April 25, 2015
#7.
My favorite flavor of cake is more.
— Dawn Rambles (@dawnrambles) March 27, 2016
#8.
[Olive Garden]
PATRON: there are so many types of pasta
WAITER: [required to say this] yes…*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless— chrieeees (@cwhudson) April 22, 2016
#9.
How to cook the perfect amount of pasta:
1. Pour out how much you think you need
2. Wrong— Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) May 23, 2013
#10.
Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg
"Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?"
Me: *grabs another donut & runs*
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 29, 2016
#11.
[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom]
"I've counted these fries."— Spanky McDutcherson ? (@thatdutchperson) July 16, 2015
#12.
https://twitter.com/Sassafrantz/status/758802498324795392
#13.
Good carb in the streets
Bad carb in the sheets
— Just J (@junejuly12) September 29, 2016
#14.
WIFE: you've had enough
ME (eating my 68th breadstick): aw man
OLIVE GARDEN MANAGER: let him eat one more lol— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) December 30, 2015
#15.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
— Uilvlees (@Owl_Meat) December 19, 2015
#16.
https://twitter.com/JohnnyCrash5/status/421455174700257280
#17.
[first date]
HER: You smell so good. What are you wearing?
ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.— Floyd (@dafloydsta) October 15, 2015
#18.
Relationship status: The pizza is late and I'm worried
— Vodka TIEM ™ (powered by whiskey) (@VodkaTiem) October 24, 2013
#19.
https://twitter.com/RelatableQuote/status/725738748449808384
#20.
According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) December 22, 2014
#21.
Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me.
— Jay (@DirtMcTurd) December 14, 2013
#22.
If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look.
— Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) August 11, 2015
#23.
◻️Trump
◻️Hillary
☑️ Ziplock bag of spaghetti— an pigeon ✨ (@imskytrash) September 27, 2016