Money, it turns out, is a frequent bone of contention among couples. The proof is in the pudding: a 2022 study involving 2,000 UK-based couples found that a whopping 62 percent of them have quarreled over financial matters.
This particular subject surfaced on Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ (AITA) forum, where a 39-year-old man sought opinions about a disagreement he had with his girlfriend regarding money and vacation plans. As he stands on the brink of his 40th birthday, he expressed a desire to celebrate this milestone by going on an international trip—a first for him. “I want to take a week and travel purely for recreational purposes,” he explained, emphasizing his wish for the trip to span at least a week and cross international borders.
The man, who has diligently worked on his finances since his 20s and saved up specifically for this trip, noted that his girlfriend’s financial situation differed markedly. “My girlfriend is great. She works hard and supports herself. But she doesn’t make as much money and, most importantly, is currently saddled with around $20,000 in credit card debt from a period of unexpected unemployment,” he shared.
In an attempt to include his girlfriend in his travel plans without imposing a financial burden, the man offered to cover their lodging if she could manage her own airfare. However, given their relatively fresh relationship status—they had been dating for just three months—he hesitated to finance the entire trip for her, expecting that she should be able to “contribute financially to come along.”
The situation escalated when his girlfriend expressed her inability to afford even half the airfare plus meals, even for destinations where flights were relatively inexpensive, like the Caribbean. “So I said that I understood but I also have been wanting to do this milestone birthday thing for a while now and I still intend to go even if just by myself and would only be gone a week,” he recounted.
The disagreement led to a rift, with opinions among the man’s friends and family divided. Seeking a broader perspective, he concluded his post with a candid appeal: “I can see both sides and just want to know, AITA?”
The Reddit community largely sided with him, with one user pointing out, “3 months into a relationship is way too early to be making those kinds of requests, and you even did make a generous offer anyway. If she still can’t afford to go, then she really shouldn’t be going on any trips. That does not mean you should be putting the whole thing on hold.” Another chimed in, critiquing the girlfriend’s expectations as akin to seeking a sugar-daddy arrangement given the relationship’s brief duration.
Yet, another commenter provided a balanced view: “It’s okay for her to be disappointed and to express those feelings to you, but the necessary and mature thing to do for her to do now is to set those feelings aside and be happy for your opportunity.”
What’s your take on this situation?