A man recently found himself at the center of an online controversy after he balked at the idea of purchasing a $10,000 engagement ring for his girlfriend, bluntly stating she was “not worth it.” Not exactly the romantic sentiment one hopes to hear from a potential spouse. The man sought the opinions of Reddit users to determine if his reluctance to spend a substantial amount on a ring made him an “a**hole,” especially since he described his girlfriend of four years as “pretty low maintenance.”
He shared that both of them are 26 years old, and highlighted that his girlfriend does not have extravagant tastes; she “never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewelry she owns was gifted to her,” despite her wealthy background. Instead of opting for a pricey diamond, the man considered moissanite rings, which are visually similar to diamonds but much more budget-friendly, with prices ranging from $1,500 to $1,800.
“When I mentioned this to her, she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring and sent me links to a bunch of diamond rings that she liked. The prices ranged from $6,500 to $10,000. I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much,” he explained. The conversation quickly escalated into a significant argument. “She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t ‘that expensive.’ I told her it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that,” he added.
The man’s girlfriend accused him of being cheap and argued that he could afford the ring, saying his refusal implied she “wasn’t worth it.” His blunt response was: “No one is worth a $10,000 ring.” This statement did not sit well with many, as it seemed to undermine the value he placed on their relationship.
Given his $80,000 annual salary, conventional advice—often cited as spending two months’ salary on an engagement ring—suggests he should have a budget of about $13,000 for the ring. Yet, he was looking at options well below $2,000. Despite admitting that he had been saving for a while, his sister, after being consulted, sided with his girlfriend and didn’t understand his hesitation.
Shortly after the Reddit post went up, it garnered over 4,000 comments, most of which criticized his stance. One user pointed out: “YTA [you’re the a**hole] because you literally told her she wasn’t worth $10,000 which is a really s**tty thing to say to someone you want to spend your life with regardless of the context.” Another echoed, “YTA for sure, especially how you’ve been going about this.”
AITA for not wanting to get my girlfriend an “expensive” engagement ring
byu/Dry-Body-7578 inAmItheAsshole
The man revealed in his post that his girlfriend had been incredibly supportive in the past, especially mentioning an incident six months into their relationship when he was in a serious car accident and unable to pay bills, a burden she took on herself.
Reflecting on the backlash and the nature of their conversation, the man admitted, “I’ve definitely reconsidered my stance.” While it’s unclear if he eventually proposed, the situation raises interesting questions on the expectations and expressions of worth in relationships.
So, what’s your take, was he indeed being unreasonable?