Melinda French Gates has opened up about how she managed what she described as ‘betrayals’ in her marriage to Bill Gates.
After 27 years of marriage, the couple, who wed in Lanai, Hawaii, announced their separation in 2021. Melinda, now 60, and Microsoft co-founder Bill, now 69, shared a joint statement indicating that they could “no longer grow together as a couple,” and finalized their divorce three months later.
Although they stated they would continue their collaboration at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Melinda stepped down from her role at the non-profit three years later.
In her new memoir, The Next Day: Transitions, Change and Moving Forward, Melinda provides insight into how she recognized the issues within her marriage to the billionaire. The book is meant not as a prescriptive guide but as a supportive resource for others going through similar experiences.
Melinda explained to People magazine, “It was important for me to be real,” ahead of the autobiography’s release on April 15.
Within the book, Melinda shares personal experiences, including a recurring nightmare she experienced in late 2019, which symbolized her crumbling marriage. The dream depicted a beautiful house falling apart, and later evolved into a vision where she fell into a void while her family watched.
“As dramatic as it sounds,” she wrote, “I knew, in that moment, that I was going to have to make a decision – and that I was going to have to make it by myself.”
Initially dismissing her concerns, Melinda invited Bill on a solo trip to New Mexico in February 2020 to discuss their future.
The trip began like any other, but it was during this time that Melinda expressed her desire to live independently.
“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d have had,” she noted in The Next Day.
Melinda described Bill as being ‘sad and upset’ but also ‘understanding and respectful’ of her decision to separate.
She recalled the divorce process as ‘gruelling’ and noted that she experienced panic attacks, given Bill’s reputation as a formidable negotiator.
Therapy, she said, helped her to “respond to the betrayals in [her] marriage without betraying myself in return.”
“Bill has publicly acknowledged that he wasn’t always faithful to me,” she wrote.
In response to how she coped with the ‘betrayal,’ she simply remarked to People, “You have to stay true to yourself always, right?”
Explaining her decision to leave the marriage, Melinda shared, “It takes courage forging a different life. When you change paths, you realize, oh, it’s a big opening.”
Though she resigned as co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Melinda continues her philanthropic efforts through her own organization, Pivotal Venture.
The Next Day: Transitions, Change and Moving Forward by Melinda French Gates is available for pre-order now.