In today’s parenting landscape, a mother has expressed her regrets about practicing ‘gentle parenting’.
The traditional approach of disciplining children with physical punishment has been overtaken by the rise of ‘gentle parenting’. This modern method is gaining traction among today’s parents compared to the approaches used by previous generations.
According to Parents.com, gentle parenting is characterized as ‘a means of parenting without shame, blame, or punishment’.
The website further elaborates: “It is centered on partnership as both parents and children have a say in this collaborative style. Gentle parenting is as it sounds; it is a softer, gentler approach to parenting, and parents and caregivers that practice gentle parenting do so by guiding their children with consistent, compassionate boundaries—not a firm hand.”
Millennial parents, typically those aged 28 to 43, are predominantly adopting this technique, as noted by Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago, with 74 percent engaging in gentle parenting. Yet, despite its popularity, one mother has shared her regrets about using this method with her children.
In an open Instagram post, Jaclyn Williams discussed the challenges she faced with this parenting style after raising two children and realizing she needed to ‘undo it’.
“I had tried SO hard to do everything right… to do things different from what I had growing up,” she confessed.
She described how one of her children developed anxiety, lacked confidence in their skills, and exhibited traits of entitlement and emotional dysregulation. Her other child became a people-pleaser, hid their true emotions, absorbed others’ feelings, and grew withdrawn.
Jaclyn acknowledged she had mistaken her approach for gentle parenting, saying: “I wasn’t actually doing gentle parenting… I had slipped into permissive parenting without realizing it.”
She elaborated on her missteps, describing what she thought was ‘gentle’: “Validating for 20 minutes; over-processing; explaining too many boundaries; making everything negotiable; compromising too much.”
She has since transitioned to an ‘authoritative’ style, which combines high warmth with high structure. Jaclyn noted the changes have come ‘faster than [she] expected’ but acknowledged it wasn’t an immediate shift.
Describing the improvements, she stated: “Soon I saw: less anxiety over decisions, more confidence trying new things, less negotiating/entitlement, better regulation.”
Her Instagram reel has garnered over eight million views, prompting Jaclyn to address its viral status.
“I just wanted to be honest with you. To share my story. My mistakes. What I learned,” she explained.