Warning: This article contains discussion of domestic violence which some readers may find distressing.
Judge Kate Rayfield described the case as ‘The worst incidence of controlling and coercive behaviour seen’ during her sentencing.
A new true crime documentary has deeply impacted viewers, presenting the distressing story of a man’s enduring abuse at the hands of his wife.
Titled “My Wife, My Abuser,” the documentary aired in the UK earlier this year. It portrays the difficult home life of Richard Spencer, who suffered abuse from his wife Sheree Spencer for more than a decade.
From an outsider’s perspective, the Spencer family appeared to have an ideal life: a married couple with three lovely children living in a spacious seven-bedroom home in York’s picturesque suburbs.
The couple’s relationship began in 2000, and soon after, the abuse started, worsening over time.
It wasn’t until they installed nanny cams in their home after the birth of their first daughter in 2015 that Richard began to record the abuse he was experiencing.
Initially, Richard saved the footage as ‘insurance’ in case Sheree tried to restrict his access to their children, but it was not until he showed a recording to a friend that law enforcement became involved.
Richard provided authorities with 43 photos of his injuries, 36 video clips, and nine mobile recordings as evidence.
In March 2023, Judge Rayfield sentenced Sheree to four years in prison, noting it was ‘the worst incidence of controlling and coercive behaviour [she had ever] seen’.
In the documentary, Richard recounts, “Sheree’s abuse towards me evolved and escalated over time, she used repeated acts of physical assault, threats, verbal abuse, and humiliation to punish and exercise control over me.
“The abuse was hidden from the outside world, including friends and family.
“Sheree manipulated me into believing that I was a responsible and willing participant in the abuse.
“She remorselessly proclaimed that I deserved to be punished, and that it was a justifiable consequence of me disappointing her in some way.”
Viewers of the documentary were moved, with one expressing on Twitter, “Bro I’m crying my f**in eyes out @ this my wife my abuser doc omg.”
Another commented: “That new ‘my wife my abuser’ doc on Netflix [in the UK] made me cry my eyes out man. In front of the kids hate it.”
If you are facing domestic violence, please know you are not alone. You can speak confidentially 24 hours a day with the national domestic violence helpline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).
You can also access a list of local resources here.