A nurse with experience in end-of-life care has shared insights gained from being with more than 300 individuals as they faced their final moments. Though we can only speculate about our own last days, her observations offer valuable lessons about what truly matters in life.
Laura M, who spends her days with patients in their last stages, has documented their final words and reflections. She refers to this period as ‘the quiet hour’. Her findings provide a glimpse into the priorities and regrets of those nearing the end, offering a mirror for us to reflect on our own lives.
Laura cared for a 92-year-old World War II veteran named George, who had been estranged from his brother for four decades due to a disagreement. George poignantly reflected, “I won the argument, but I lost a lifetime.” Laura noted that people tend to regret not being kinder rather than wishing they had been tougher.
A retired engineer shared with Laura that his wealth was driven by a fear of poverty rather than ambition. He admitted, “I was so scared of being poor that I became rich in fear,” yet he never truly enjoyed his success. This illustrates the importance of not postponing happiness, as the future is uncertain.
Through her experiences, Laura learned that unresolved anger can weigh heavily on individuals. One woman expressed, “I can’t die angry,” and found peace after reconciling with her estranged son, which allowed her to pass away more peacefully.
A former CEO told Laura about his regret of equating busyness with truly living. He commented, “I mistook being busy for being alive.” When asked about what people missed most, many mentioned simple joys like the sound of birds or the smell of rain, reminding us to appreciate the small, everyday moments.
Laura also encountered individuals who regretted not trying new things. One shared, “I didn’t regret failing—I regretted never auditioning.” This highlights the importance of taking risks, as the regret of not trying can linger.
In today’s world, distractions are abundant, causing many to miss being present in the moment. One father lamented, “I was always somewhere else—even when I was home.” The significance of living authentically was another key lesson, as pretending often became a major regret. One woman expressed relief at stopping her façade, saying, “Finally, I’m done pretending.”
Laura’s experiences highlight that life’s true value lies in kindness, presence, and authenticity, lessons that are worth reflecting on while we have the time.