Warning: This article discusses eating disorders, mental health issues, and suicide, which may be upsetting for some readers.
The parents of Esther Beukema, a 33-year-old woman who chose assisted dying, have shared why they feel ‘at peace’ with her decision.
On December 10, 2021, Esther received a life-ending injection while surrounded by her family in her childhood bedroom. She passed away within five minutes.
Esther lived in the Netherlands where euthanasia for mental illness is legal.
The 2002 Dutch Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide (Review Procedures) Act allows euthanasia for psychiatric or physical conditions if there is ‘no reasonable alternative’ and the suffering is ‘unbearable with no prospect of improvement’.
Esther had expressed a desire not to live for over ten years due to her struggle with anorexia.
Her mother, Ellen, supported Esther’s desire for euthanasia early on, especially after multiple suicide attempts, but her father, Rob, took longer to accept her choice.
The parents have discussed their journey toward ‘peace’ with Esther’s decision.
In a conversation with The Telegraph, Rob said he tried to offer Esther a ‘little bit of blue sky’ and hope.
Despite his efforts, Esther was resolute in her decision, and Rob eventually came to terms with it. When the time came, both parents were ‘at peace’.
Ellen reflected on the experience: “She didn’t have to die alone, she was with the people she loved. And that is what you want for everyone.”
Esther battled anorexia from her teenage years and was later diagnosed with symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Her initial request for euthanasia was denied, but she reapplied after turning 30.
Upon acceptance, Esther moved back with her family to savor the remaining days and plan her funeral.
Rob described her passing as peaceful: “I saw her face. No anger. Very happy.”
Ellen added: “We are at peace with it, I think. For us, I think it’s the feeling that there is a life before, and a life after. It’s not that the life after is very bad, but you have to discover how to start again.”
“You have to learn to see the good things and to enjoy them.”
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, Mental Health America offers support. Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. The Crisis Text Line is also available by texting MHA to 741741.
If immediate mental health help is needed, contact the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This service is free, confidential, and accessible 24/7.