Tim Gunn has revealed the painful experience that led him to stay single and celibate for more than 40 years.
The longtime fashion mentor has spoken candidly about his romantic past, explaining how he ultimately came to embrace living alone after a devastating breakup.
Now 72, Gunn said a split from a former boyfriend when he was 29 shaped the rest of his personal life, pushing him away from sex and relationships.
He has been celibate for 43 years, and has said he’s content with that choice.
“I had a very serious nine-year relationship in Washington, D.C., and I loved this person deeply and would have done anything for him. I still remember the night that it all ended,” he said on the Dear Chelsea podcast, hosted by Chelsea Handler.
Gunn said his partner abruptly told him to go, explaining he no longer had the “patience” for him. Although they’d lived together for years, Gunn still had his own apartment, which made it possible for him to leave immediately.
He also shared that his ex later admitted he’d been sleeping with “just about everything that walked by,” while Gunn had remained faithful. Because it was during the height of the AIDS crisis, the revelation left him terrified about what it might mean for his health.
“The self-pity then turned to completely unbridled anger because I thought he may have given me a death sentence,” he added.
“I was tested every six months for ten years for HIV, and thankfully, I had a clean slate.”
Complicating matters further, Gunn said his former partner was also a colleague, so the breakup didn’t allow for a clean break from seeing each other.
He explained the emotional fallout lingered for years, and whenever he considered dating again, memories of that relationship would resurface and the motivation to pursue something new would disappear.
Even so, Gunn has said he doesn’t look back with regret. While living alone and remaining celibate took time to get used to, he ultimately found he genuinely enjoys the life he built.
He’s also discussed his perspective on intimacy before, previously characterizing himself as “kind of asexual” when reflecting on his experiences.
He told People in 2010. “I’ve always been kind of asexual. That breakup was a cold shower to last a lifetime. When people hear I haven’t had a boyfriend since 1982, they often whisper, ‘Does he not have sex?’ That’s right!”