A psychologist has shared insights suggesting that even the healthiest-looking relationships can show subtle signs of decline.
At the beginning of a relationship, there’s often a sense of joy with the belief that you’ve found ‘the one’. However, this feeling can sometimes diminish over time.
Over the years, some relationships may start to fade, leading to doubts and questions about the future.
Psychologist Mark Travers suggests that pondering ‘should I leave them’ can be an obvious early indicator that your relationship might be nearing its end.
In an article for Forbes, Travers points out that there are subtler indicators that you or your partner could be exhibiting, suggesting a relationship’s decline.
Referring to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2025, Travers highlights that relationship satisfaction usually doesn’t decrease abruptly.
He describes a phase of ‘terminal decline’ that relationships often experience before breaking up, during which these subtle signs become apparent.
Fantasizing about not being romantically linked to your partner isn’t a positive indicator of your mental state in the relationship.
Even if you currently don’t intend to act on these feelings, Travers warns that this mindset is still problematic.
He states that these feelings will eventually affect other aspects of the relationship negatively.
He explains: “After a while, when the exhaustion sets in, you rarely notice how your body feels.
“You stop fighting because you no longer have the energy to keep trying. You don’t initiate conversations, try to repair what’s broken or mend the bond that seems to be crumbling.”
Travers suggests that making excuses, compromising, and reflecting on moments when you wished you hadn’t stayed silent can become burdensome.
This ‘emotional labor’ can start to outweigh the connection you once shared with your partner, making the primary goal to alleviate the stress of a dissatisfying relationship.
Travers cited: “A 2023 study published in Family Relations found that, for dual-earner couples, emotional exhaustion didn’t just stem from external stressors. It was often associated with how unevenly emotional labor was distributed within the relationship.”
Thus, feelings of fatigue might originate from an unequal distribution of emotional labor. Even without conflicts, these feelings can lead to thoughts of ending the relationship.
Although not every thought should be overly analyzed, Travers suggests that such reflections in the pre-breakup phase can be concerning.
He points out that there might not even be an obvious reason to leave, but the thought crosses your mind more frequently.
He elaborates: “You start stacking good moments against the growing bad ones, and the future plans against their past mistakes.
“You start feeling like you’re the only one in the relationship who keeps trying, feeling a little lonelier each day. There might not even be a glaring reason to leave; there simply aren’t enough good reasons to stay. And that absence will start to weigh on you.
“If the question keeps returning to you, ‘Should I just leave?’ it’s no longer a question. It’s likely an answer you might be trying to ignore.”