Psychologists have pinpointed two critical phases that can foretell the end of a relationship.
When a relationship concludes, there’s often someone who anticipated it for a while, while the other person feels caught off guard by the abrupt shift.
Nevertheless, we understand that these changes are rarely immediate.
Indeed, there are two key phases in a struggling relationship: one where reconciliation is still possible and another where the breakup is unavoidable.
Research conducted by psychology professors Janina Bühler from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz and Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern indicates that relationship satisfaction wanes long before the breakup happens.
“In order to better understand dissolving relationships, we examined them from the point of view of time-to-separation. To do this, we applied a concept that is in general use in other fields of psychology,” Bühler said in the study.
The decline can begin years before the actual breakup, typically one to two years in advance.
After this onset, dissatisfaction tends to intensify, eventually leading to the relationship’s end.
“Couples in question then move towards separation,” Bühler added.
The researchers derived their insights from analyzing data from 11,295 individuals, observing their relationships over periods of 12 to 21 years.
Through this extensive analysis, they identified two pivotal moments marking the decline of a relationship.
The first is termed the ‘preterminal phase,’ which unfolds gradually and may last for several years.
During this period, there’s a noticeable but slow decline in relationship satisfaction.
The second is the ‘terminal phase,’ occurring when a couple reaches the ‘transition point’ where satisfaction levels fall sharply.
This phase could last from seven to 28 months before the eventual breakup.
“Once this terminal phase is reached, the relationship is doomed to come to an end,” Bühler said. “This is apparent from the fact that only the individuals in the separation group go through this terminal phase, not the control group.”
Yet, those within the relationship often do not experience these phases simultaneously, and the person initiating the breakup likely felt the decline longer.
“Partners pass through various phases,” Bühler explained. “They do not normally separate from one day to the next, and the way these phases impact on the two partners differs.”
During the terminal phase, personal efforts are unlikely to save the relationship.
“It is thus important to be aware of these relationship patterns. Initiating measures in the preterminal phase of a relationship, i.e., before it begins to go rapidly downhill, may thus be more effective and even contribute to preserving the relationship,” the researcher concluded.
If you begin to recognize these dynamics in your relationship, it might be prudent to devise a mutual strategy to address the issues, grow together, or consider parting ways before an inevitable breakup.