Discussions about people’s sexual history are frequently a point of contention both online and offline. Society often scrutinizes the number of sexual partners a person has had, and women tend to bear the brunt of this judgment more than men. This societal scrutiny makes it challenging to pinpoint what is considered an “acceptable” number of partners.
According to a 2023 YouGov survey, the average number of lifetime sexual partners for women is three, whereas men reported an average of five. The debate over what constitutes an acceptable number of partners persists, but recent findings from Love Honey suggest that attitudes are shifting.
Traditionally, it has been suggested that men focus more on how many partners their significant other has had. However, the latest poll indicates that women are now more likely to consider this important, as 27% of women said a partner’s body count matters, compared to 22% of men. Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationships expert, attributes this to societal norms and individual experiences shaping personal boundaries.
The “ideal” number of sexual partners appears to be consistent across different demographics. Both men and women generally agree that having three to five partners is preferable. This view is shared among individuals of various sexual orientations, including gay, straight, and bisexual communities.
Knight finds it noteworthy that both genders concur on what they consider acceptable in new relationships. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on the quality of the connection rather than the number of past partners. Open communication about personal boundaries and preferences is crucial.
Generational differences emerge in how people view sexual history. Gen Z favors partners with one to two previous relationships, Millennials and cusp Millennial/Gen X individuals are comfortable with three to five, and the Silent Generation shares a similar view. In contrast, Gen X and Boomers are less concerned with the number of past partners, with five to ten being acceptable.
Knight observes that younger generations like Gen Z are growing up in a digital age where comparisons and transactional dating can create anxiety about sexual history. In contrast, older generations, having experienced more long-term relationships, tend to focus less on body count. This indicates that sexual openness is not strictly age-dependent but rather linked to confidence, communication, and emotional maturity, which develop over time.