The period leading up to the end of a relationship can sometimes be more challenging than the actual break-up.
For most people, unless they find their lifelong partner early on, experiencing one or more break-ups is almost inevitable.
Those who have gone through a break-up know that it rarely comes as a complete surprise; there are often indications that the relationship is not as strong as it once was.
Researchers from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz (JGU) in Germany have delved deeper into the build-up to the end of love, releasing a study on when relationships reach the point of no return.
Their research utilized national studies from Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands, discovering the existence of a ‘terminal stage’ in relationships, indicative of a point beyond recovery.
This stage is divided into two phases. The initial phase, known as the preterminal phase, may last several years and is marked by a slight decline in satisfaction.
Following this is a transition or tipping point, after which there is a rapid decline in satisfaction, as outlined in a press release.
Post-transition, this terminal phase can last anywhere from seven to 28 months, averaging between one to two years.
Professor Janina Bühler from the Institute of Psychology at JGU commented: “Once this terminal phase is reached, the relationship is doomed to come to an end.”
Additionally, the transition phase is not experienced in the same manner by both partners.
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The individual who decides to end the relationship likely experienced dissatisfaction over a longer period. Conversely, for the partner on the receiving end, the transition occurs shortly before the separation, leading to a swift decline in relationship satisfaction.
“Partners pass through various phases. They do not normally separate from one day to the next, and the way these phases impact on the two partners differs,” Bühler continued.
With these findings, Bühler, who also serves as a couples therapist, offers some relationship advice.
“It is thus important to be aware of these relationship patterns,” she mentioned.
“Initiating measures in the preterminal phase of a relationship, i.e., before it begins to go rapidly downhill, may thus be more effective and even contribute to preserving the relationship.”
In essence, if you detect a decline in your relationship’s satisfaction but wish to restore what you once had with your partner, it is crucial to address the issues causing dissatisfaction before reaching the ‘terminal stage’.