Russell Brand is reportedly “cowering in fear” as fellow inmates target him with a mocking chant at HMP Wandsworth.
The comedian, 49, was convicted Thursday of rape and three counts of sexual assault following a nearly two-year investigation launched after several women came forward with allegations. He had pleaded not guilty and denied all allegations throughout the trial. Prisoners at the south London facility have since taken to chanting at him repeatedly.
The alleged chant runs: “There’s a Brand new nonce on the wing! A Brand new nonce. Brand, you c–t, you ain’t so f–king lairy now.” The taunt references “nonce,” British slang for a rapist or child molester, and “lairy,” meaning behaving in a loud, excited manner especially when drinking or enjoying oneself.
Brand’s first night at Wandsworth was already described as harrowing. Reports said he was “petrified” after undergoing what was termed a “humiliating” strip search and receiving a “first-night pack” of toiletries and food. He was permitted a three-minute phone call with his wife, Laura, who had supported him throughout his trial.
The facility itself ranks among London’s most troubled institutions. The Howard League for Penal Reform found Wandsworth operating at 163 percent capacity, housing 1,457 inmates against a certified normal accommodation of 894. A 2024 report by the prison’s Independent Monitoring Board described living conditions as “inhumane.”
That report detailed cramped single-occupancy cells routinely shared by two inmates, with prisoners sometimes going two to three weeks without a full change of clothing. Showers were found to be damp, unhygienic and limited, with poor ventilation fostering mold growth.
Lockdowns run as long as 22 hours daily, with outdoor exercise sometimes denied entirely due to staff shortages. Crumbling floors admit vermin, heating fails intermittently in winter, and summer temperatures can hit 95 degrees Fahrenheit.
Violence permeates the environment. During 2023-24, the monitoring board documented 442 inmate-on-inmate assaults, 518 assaults on staff, 998 incidents of self-harm involving 302 men, and 10 deaths—six of them “apparently self-inflicted.”
Security protocols impose rub-down searches and an enforced dress code on all visitors, capping visits at three people per inmate at any time.
The prison does offer limited programming: educational and vocational training, yoga, mindfulness sessions, parenting skills classes, embroidery, choir, and family contact through monthly family days, homework clubs, video calls, phone calls and emails.
A UK legal expert said that Brand could receive “eight or nine years” behind bars for his convictions. Since the verdict, two additional rape accusations have emerged against him.
Brand’s sentencing is scheduled for Monday.