You know those moms on TV who maintain a spotless house and still manage to keep every strand of shiny, perfect hair in place? Well, they’re a lie. These parents might not have everything perfect, but they’re still supermoms.
#1. This mom who was not shocked by her medical diagnosis.
I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 7, 2016
#2. And this one whose reasons for staying married aren’t the most noble.
My husband and I talked about getting a divorce, but neither one of us wants the kids.
— ?ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ? (@3sunzzz) August 25, 2016
#3. This mom who discovered a new dinosaur species.
Apparently muttering "how about a shutthefuckupasaurus" after the 839th dinosaur question doesn't get you a Parent of the Year award.
— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) March 11, 2013
#4. And this one who dropped truth bombs.
Parenting is fun if you're into things like cooking for people who aren't hungry.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 9, 2016
#5. This mom who questioned her kids’ sleeping schedules.
Saturday morning wake up: 6:30am
Sunday morning wake up: 5:47am
Monday morning: 8:12am still sleeping & missed the bus
-my kids
— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) November 23, 2015
#6. This mom who drowns her sorrows in Pinot.
My family thinks short term memory loss is adorable when a fish has it in Finding Dory, but when I have it, "Mommy has a drinking problem".
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) June 21, 2016
#7. And this one who needs to take her espresso to the next level.
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) August 13, 2016
#12. This one who is no Kitty Forman.
It's fucking exhausting when my kids have their friends over and I have to act like I'm a good parent.
— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) August 27, 2012
#13. This one who can read between the lines.
What I say:
Get dressed
Brush teeth
Get in the carWhat my kids hear:
Have a snack
Shriek like monkeys
Open 3 umbrellas indoors
Go poop— Val (@ValeeGrrl) March 17, 2016
#14. This mom who has developed sly ways to trick her captors.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.
— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) September 27, 2012
#15. This mom who won’t take none o’ that today.
Let's play a game called How Many Times Will Mommy Repeat Herself Before She Loses Her Shit?
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 3, 2015
#16. And this mom who at least tried to be a perfect parent.
We plan to be kind patient moms who accept our kids exactly as they are then we see them take 45 mins to eat a goddamn bowl of Lucky Charms.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 18, 2016
#17. This mom who has probably gone through many a juice box.
If you haven't used a juice box as a chaser, then you probably haven't reached your lowest point in parenting yet.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) September 19, 2015
#18. This one who prefers really long school days.
Stay in school, kids.
No, I mean really. Don't come home. We need a break.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) June 2, 2015
#19. And this mom who speaketh the TRUTH.
Daughter: You're invading my personal space
Mom: You came out of my personal space
— Moe (@_Mo_lee_) January 8, 2016