An experiment gaining traction online, known as the ‘bird test’, claims to reveal whether your relationship is built to last. Here’s the insight you need.
Every relationship is distinct, meaning there isn’t a universal guideline for determining the longevity of a partnership. The dynamics can vary greatly from one couple to another.
Dating specialists at Love to Know suggest that relationships in your early twenties often end within two to four years. However, the Washington Post notes that once a couple surpasses the one-year milestone, the likelihood of breaking up tends to decrease.
It’s important to approach this data and similar studies with skepticism. After all, the high school sweetheart you meet might just become your lifelong partner!
If you’re curious about assessing whether your partner is ‘the one’, there is a test you can try. Called ‘the bird test’, it recently gained attention when Dancing With the Stars’ Robert Irwin unknowingly participated in it, as seen in a viral video.
The concept involves telling your partner you’ve spotted a bird or something equally trivial to see if they engage with your remark.
Alyssa Caribardi, whose video on the bird test garnered millions of views on TikTok, claims it’s an effective way to gauge if your relationship is ‘successful’.
But is there any scientific basis to the bird test?
Dr. Julie Gottman, a researcher and psychologist, suggests this quirky test is a form of ‘bidding for connection’. According to the Therapy Group of DC, these ‘bids’ are subtle signals to initiate interaction or seek attention from your significant other.
Such gestures might include smiling, touching, or exclaiming in surprise after reading something intriguing in a text or book.
Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and emeritus professor at the University of Washington, describes these bids as the ‘fundamental unit of emotional communication’.
What if your partner doesn’t respond to your bird test, ignoring your bid for connection?
According to John, this could be detrimental to the relationship.
The Gottmans’ research indicates that ignoring bids for connection can lead to resentment and emotional distance over time, ultimately causing break-ups.
Caribardi mentioned to The Guardian: “If they blow you off that’s a really bad sign.”
For those who find themselves neglecting their partner’s signals for attention, there are steps to address this.
Experts at The Therapy Hub recommend recognizing missed bids, taking accountability, and striving to reconnect. The Gottmans emphasize that attention, intention, interest, and curiosity are essential in restoring and strengthening bonds.
“Practicing this will make all the difference in your relationships. If you mind it, it matters. Mind your relationships and watch them bloom,” he advised.
If your partner doesn’t pass the bird test initially, it doesn’t necessarily indicate a major issue; they might just need some guidance.