#1. Ear plugs for our dainty lady ears.
#2. Golf balls, in case you have to touch a yucky, non-gendered, white one.
#3. Special clothes hangers so you don’t accidentally wear mens’ clothing like some sort of animal.
#4. Beer especially for women (that we just have to drink from a wine glass, amiright ladies?).
#5. Pens “for her”, because we couldn’t find anything to write with before.
#6. Earphone. What’s with the tiny ears thing, corporate world?!
#7. Lady bread for the feminine digestive system.
#8. Scented credit cards, because if it’s not scented we’re not interested.
#9. Special tea to “help balance the female system” after all that crying and tampon throwing.
#10. Cheddar flavor for boys, “princess” flavor for girls.
#11. The Barbie pink VW for us girls who are reduced to tears at the sight of a normal car.
#12. Smoke like a lady with pink cigarettes (to match our pretty nails!).
#13. Pink camouflage knives, so that we feel even more at home in the kitchen.
#14. We used mens’ toothpaste once and our teeth just fell right out.
#15. It’s scientifically proven that men and women have totally different hair and require a $10 difference in their razor prices.
#16. For lighting those lovely pink cigarettes, of course.
#17. And if we should dare take off our oven mitts and try man’s work, there’s this pink drill. Phew.
#18. Sick of boring black batteries? You’re in luck — there’s fashion batteries now.
#19. How we ever managed to stick to things together before this came along we’ll never know.
#20. You see, girls can do science — they just have to use a pretty microscope.
#21. And if we really must know where things are, this pink globe will stop us from getting overwhelmed.
Thank goodness.
