An expert has issued a warning to couples about Rebecca Syndrome, highlighting its potential for significant negative impacts on relationships.
We have all encountered issues in our romantic lives, ranging from disagreements over minor issues like socks on the floor to larger household chores.
This syndrome, however, goes beyond typical household disputes.
Rebecca Syndrome can be detrimental to you and those around you, so it is important to understand what it entails.
Psychotherapist Toby Ingham recently discussed this condition in a blog post, exploring its causes and how it can become a serious issue.
Experts have noted an increase in inquiries about this condition, with Ingham pointing out that Google searches have been on the rise since 2018 as more people self-diagnose.
The term originates from Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 gothic novel ‘Rebecca’ and was coined by psychoanalyst Dr. Darian Leader based on the character.
Lily James portrayed this character in the 2020 film adaptation of the same name.
Trust us, this syndrome is not something you want to experience.
The character Rebecca exhibited obsessive behaviors, which affected her personally and in her relationship.
Her obsession led to the unraveling of her life, with many dramatic events along the way.
Rebecca Syndrome involves a person developing jealous tendencies due to an obsession with their partner’s former partners.
This obsession could also extend to past sexual partners, not just exes.
To determine if you might have this syndrome, consider some warning signs.
You may find yourself comparing your looks, personality, intelligence, or sexual abilities to your partner’s ex.
This may foster insecurity, leaving you to question your relationship because you feel the ex was superior or special.
Such thoughts could contribute to obsessional neurosis, which Ingham describes as a condition where intrusive words, images, or ideas dominate the mind uncontrollably.
Ingham explains that Rebecca Syndrome, also termed retroactive jealousy, often has roots in childhood.
He told MailOnline: “While these early problems will be unique to each of us, they may, for example, relate to our having felt overlooked by a parent who preferred one of our siblings to us.”
“Or perhaps to problems feeling we were unimportant or excluded in our birth family.”
These unresolved emotions can be projected onto current relationships, causing harm.
He advised: “Ask yourself whether your anxiety and intrusive thoughts about being less important to your partner than their former partner might actually be reflections of your own past rather than anything related to your current relationship.”
To avoid developing this syndrome, it is important to break away from obsessive thoughts and steer clear of details that could lead to fixation.
Ingham suggested: “Don’t ask about your partner’s past, particularly their sexual histories. Oversharing at the beginning of a new relationship often comes back to haunt us.”