The practice of watching pornography as a couple is considered by many to be a typical and healthy part of a relationship. However, questions arise about how it might be affecting their intimacy.
Pornography has become a widely accessible avenue for individuals—whether single, in a relationship, or married—to explore sexual content or specific fetishes.
Although it is often viewed as a solitary activity, some couples incorporate porn into their intimate moments as a way to enhance their experience. However, exposure to porn can influence an individual’s personal sexual encounters.
According to the ‘For F**k’s Sake’ campaign by LADbible, 60 percent of daily porn viewers report that it has influenced their expectations of real-world sex, with half of the men surveyed indicating it serves as their principal source of sexual education.
Additionally, two-thirds of people acknowledge that pornography has altered what they find sexually stimulating, and 52 percent say it has negatively impacted their self-esteem.
Clearly, pornography has a considerable effect on its audience.
How does this translate to its impact on relationships?
Sex & Intimacy Educator Grace Alice suggests that the effects aren’t inherently negative, contrary to some beliefs.
“It’s very possible that watching porn can affect the sex you have with your partner, but this impact is highly dependent on context,” she explained to JOE. “For some people, consuming porn or erotica is occasional and doesn’t feel compulsive; they know it isn’t realistic and don’t use it to judge or measure their real-life sexual experiences.”
In some cases, it may even enhance the relationship.
“Porn can sometimes even become a positive tool; some couples choose to watch together and use those experiences to explore desires or communicate what excites them, as long as it feels comfortable and doesn’t create pressure or feelings of inadequacy,” Alice elaborated.
However, as the survey data indicates, it can also lead to issues.
Alice noted, “This can lead to unrealistic expectations concerning bodies, sexual performance, or specific acts, which can contribute to pressure, dissatisfaction, and a negative impact on the couple’s sexual life. This is probably more relevant to people who aren’t in long-term/committed relationships.”
The conversation around pornography also includes concerns about its potential to normalize violence and aggression, particularly against women, as depicted in some videos.
The campaign data from LADbible reveals that 50 percent of women feel that porn perpetuates male dominance.
Alice has observed an increase in reports from women regarding aggressive acts during sex that were not mutually agreed upon beforehand.
She expressed concern that the portrayal of actions like choking and strangulation in pornography—which has faced regulatory scrutiny in the UK—may lead to these behaviors being normalized. To mitigate such issues, open communication between partners becomes crucial.
“Every couple is different, and it really comes down to individual relationships with porn, how it’s being used, and the ability to communicate openly and honestly.”
“If porn use leads to positive conversations and mutual exploration, it can be healthy. If it causes pressure, discomfort, or detachment from real-life intimacy, that’s something to address with each other and perhaps a professional,” she recommended.