Emily Robbie, a former sex addict, shared her journey of celibacy and how it led her to her husband, who was a virgin at the time they met.
After her first relationship ended at 21, Emily engaged in casual sexual encounters, but often felt ‘ghosted’ or unable to secure commitment from partners. This left her feeling ‘drained’ and ’empty’.
“I felt I was addicted to sex. It was casual and always this high. I was a sexual person,” the 31-year-old from Los Angeles explained. “I felt really empty. I loved having sex. I was filling a void.”
Following eight months of casual relationships, Emily embarked on a ‘long healing journey’. Her increased involvement with her church and faith led her to choose abstinence.
“I gave myself to God,” she stated. “I had abused this privilege of sex.”
She continued: “When I became celibate, I really started to restructure my mind about sex. I started a long healing journey.
“I believe when you have sex with someone, you connect intimately and get tied. I had to untie myself.”
Emily felt transformed by the time she met Tyler Stone in September 2020, describing their meeting as love at first sight.
“We had instant chemistry,” she recalled. “You know if you’re sexually compatible with someone. You don’t have to have sex with them now. There’s desire and attraction.”
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“I said I’m waiting until marriage – what do you think? He said same and was a virgin. I thought, ‘really, he’s really attractive?'”
The couple dated for a year and a half before getting married in 2023.
Emily mentioned they were ‘connected on such a deep level’, and noted: “We definitely struggled at times but we waited. People said when you get married it’s not different. We wanted it to be making things different.”
They are pleased with their decision to wait until their wedding night, as it allowed them to ‘figure’ things out together.
“I felt he was more experienced than I was. He was helping me though it.” she remarked. “It’s a place of safety. If we’d have sex before marriage, it would have felt dysregulated.”
Tyler, who also grew up with Christian values, admitted he’d been tempted to have sex a few times but ultimately chose to wait.
“I wanted to wait until I was in a safe place. I didn’t want to do that with anyone but my wife. She [Emily] re-waited,” he mentioned. “It was hard for her to re-wait. Sex is the biggest bonus, but not the reason why I’m with her.
“Sex is the biggest bonus but not the reason why I’m with her.”