Skip to content
#1. So, how DID Emily break her finger?

#2. A boring what now?

#3. The only one you’d consider mutilating.

#4. Free gift for your butt.
#5. Put the phone down, mom.

#6. WTF.

#7. Merry Christmas one and all.

#8. Er, mom?

#9. That applesauce addiction.

#10. Well, that went well.

#11. Boobsicles, please.

#12. Those big, beautiful — what?!

#13. Delicious nuggets.

#14. That’s one way to spend a day off.

#15. Never try speaking Spanish with Autocorrect.

#16. WOAH POTATO.

#17. Oh, grandma.

#18. Poor mom. Poor dad.

#19. The usual plans.

#20. Mom the corpse stealer.

#21. What an opening question.

#22. COCKATTACK.

#23. Don’t want too many people to see my tiny —

#24. And this heart attack-inducing text.
