#1. This kid helping his dad feel body confident.
8yo: Adult polar bears can weigh almost 1,000 pounds.
Me: Wow.
8yo: Yeah, that's almost twice as much as you.
Me: . . .
8yo: What? It is.— keith (@tchrquotes) September 2, 2016
#2. This sassy little one fashion-shaming his mom.
Me: Please get dressed.
9yo: But you're still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
#3. This budding critic.
Me: Where should we go next summer? Maybe Mt. Rushmore?
7yo: No, not interested.
Me: Why?
7yo: They didn't do a very good job carving it.
— Lindsey Silver (@EvenTheDogsABoy) August 26, 2016
#4. This 7-year-old who’s not impressed with his dad’s choice of wife.
https://twitter.com/TheGladStork/status/771148283452489729
#5. This cunning theft.
I just witnessed my 5yo sister drink my 7yo sisters juice then top it off with her own bottle of water # savage
— WorldsOkayestMom (@veryjustok) August 27, 2016
#6. This astute 10-year-old telling it like it is.
10yo: Grown ups don't do anything that needs imagination.
7yo: Mum plays shop with me.
10yo: That's just to keep you quiet.— Francesca Williams (@cannyfrank) August 27, 2016
#7. This alarming line of questioning.
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross?
Me: What do you mean, 'gross'?
6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
— Kristen Mae (@AbandonPretense) August 27, 2016
#8. This America’s Got Talent judge in training.
Should i be offended my 3yo covers his ears and yells "STOP!" when i dance?
— Chris Cox (@CoxyJindas) August 29, 2016
#9. This guy who doesn’t want to upset the dog.
Me: Ethan, you are stinky.
Ethan my 9yo: You smell like a dog's butt.
He turns to the dog.
Ethan: No offense, Bindi.— Jeff Kalles (@Sellak) August 28, 2016
#10. This upsetting likeness.
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower.
"It looks like a minion!"
— Wyn (@WynRichards) August 27, 2016
#11. This efficient worker who’s getting sick of mommy’s laziness.
https://twitter.com/lyzl/status/769911978512949249
#12. This life coach.
8yo: jessica, do you have any children?
Me: no, but I have two dogs!
8yo: maybe you should get some children.
Me:…— Jessica Brandt (@theredjuan) August 28, 2016
#13. This keen observation.
It's our anniversary.
7yo: Why don't you get breakfast in bed?
Me: Good question.
7yo: Is it because Mummy does all the work?
Me: That's it!— Paul ? ? (@MPCmonkey) August 28, 2016
#14. This kid who just loves to play the reminding game.
Thankfully I have this 9yo here to remind me I "have extra skin" after this baby. I'd hate to forget.
— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) September 4, 2016
#15. These sassy siblings.
8yo: I think I just swallowed a fly
10yo: cuz you talk too much
5yo: you shoulda put ketchup on it
— Linda (@turtledumplin) September 5, 2016
#16. This little feminist.
Me: I am really not into sports, can we talk about something else for a bit?
5yo: don't be sexist, sports are for girls too???
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) August 29, 2016
#17. This kid keeping his mom’s ego from getting over-inflated.
Husband: Isn't your mom the most beautiful woman ever?
5yo: (thoughtfully) I'm not so sure about that…
Me: quality ego check, babe ?
— Madeleine Mitchell (@MadCatRamble) August 28, 2016
#18. And then this lil stargazer who’s just stating the obvious.
4yo to me: *pointing to night sky* "That's jupiter."
Me: "How do you know."
4yo: "Because it LOOKS like Jupiter, daddy."— andy, conversational danger zone ? (@meltedmasks) August 28, 2016