A man has turned to social media for assistance in determining whether he’s wrong for planning a solo holiday to celebrate his 40th birthday without his girlfriend next year.
If you’ve analyzed your situation to the extent that you’re sharing it on Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum, you’re likely aware of the answer already.
Nonetheless, this individual has sought advice from the Reddit community after his plan to take a bucket list trip for his 40th birthday upset his girlfriend, who probably won’t be joining him.
The Reddit user shared his story three months ago, explaining that he’s been dating someone six years younger than him for the past three months, and things were going well until the topic of his birthday came up.
Approaching the milestone of 40 next year, he expressed his desire for a proper holiday, having never taken an ‘actual vacation’ before, only trips to visit friends and family or for work, none lasting more than three days.
With a decent business and some savings, he remarked, “I feel like I’m ready for a trip and next year would be a great opportunity.”
What could go wrong? Apparently, money became a quick issue despite his girlfriend being ‘great’ and hardworking.
He explained that she doesn’t make as much money as he does and is burdened with about $20k in credit card debt from a period of unexpected unemployment, during which she had to deplete her savings and rely on credit cards.
Despite this, when the holiday idea came up, his girlfriend asked to join him and suggested Vegas as a destination. However, she was concerned about affording an international trip.
He offered to pay for their accommodation and contribute to her airfare but didn’t feel comfortable covering the entire cost given their brief three-month relationship. More issues arose when she mentioned she couldn’t afford even 50 percent of the plane tickets or food for a Caribbean trip.
He admitted he still intended to go on a trip, even if it meant going solo, which led to his girlfriend getting upset and a resulting argument.
His friends and family are divided on the issue. Some recall his controlling ex and urge him to do what he wants, while others feel it’s ‘cruel to plan a vacation in front of someone trying to pay off significant debt.’
And it didn’t take long for Reddit users to weigh in.
While his friends and family were split, most Reddit users were not, concluding that he is not, in fact, the a**hole.
One Reddit user commented, “Person $20k in debt wants to go to Vegas. Perfect. NTA. Please go on your trip. It’s not cruel to anyone.”
Another user wrote, “NTA. Red flag. You’ve been with her for only 3 MONTHS and she’s already sulking for you not footing the entire bill for a trip for YOUR milestone birthday NEXT YEAR?”
A third user added, “Three months and she expects you to either pay for her to go on an international, week-long vacation or change your long-term, bucket-list plans to suit her? NTA. You’ve got too much of your own life to let yourself be held back by someone you’re barely invested in. She can either get over her fomo or you can find a new partner who is supportive.”
The original poster agreed, saying his girlfriend has been ‘great’ and they’ve ‘had a lot of fun,’ but if they can’t navigate their relationship beyond the ‘honeymoon’ phase, maybe she’s ‘not as great a fit as [he] thought,’ and he should ‘move on.’
Well, there are plenty more fish in the sea, or at least you won’t be thinking about it while swimming in a literal sea under the glorious sun.