A 24-year-old man has opened up about why he’s still a virgin, explaining that his discomfort is about far more than sex itself.
Bertie, from Taunton in the UK, is among the new faces appearing in the latest season of Virgin Island, which launches tonight (April 27) on Channel 4.
Ahead of the premiere, Bertie appeared on British breakfast programme This Morning with fellow contestant Joy, 22, who is also a virgin.
Speaking with hosts Ben Shephard and Cat Deeley, Bertie discussed why he refers to himself as a “grade-A virgin”، a phrase heard in the season two trailer.
“It’s not just the intimacy part of relationships that I feel uncomfortable with and feel like I don’t know what I’m doing in that,” he said. “It’s not just about sex. It’s about what comes before that for me as well.”
He went on to explain that the anxiety starts well before any physical intimacy, saying he lacks confidence when it comes to meeting women, holding conversations, and knowing how to take the next step.
Bertie went on: “I feel not knowledgable on how to approach women and talk to them because I feel that I’ll come across awkward, how to make the first move, even the dating part because I’ve never been on a date before. I’ve just got absolutely no experience in it.”
He also shared that insecurities about his appearance have acted as another barrier, describing it as a significant mental hurdle.
Joy then added her perspective, describing how being raised in a religious environment shaped her relationship with intimacy and the expectations she felt as she grew up.
Joy explained: “Growing up as a Christian, there’s a certain purity culture messaging that you can internalize, and for me that sort of looked like, you know, you shouldn’t have sex before marriage, if you do anything that’s a sin, and the messaging felt really strong.”
The previous series included Ben, who was still a virgin at 31.
In a piece he wrote for The Times, Ben suggested his situation at that age was closely linked to being bullied at school.
“The vast majority of the bullying I suffered was at the hands of other boys, but it nonetheless instilled within me this belief that despite my decent intellect, I was physically repulsive to women especially, and that no sane girl could possibly find me attractive,” Ben wrote.
Ben also said he didn’t begin dating until his 20s and, although he had two relationships, he still never became intimate with a partner.
Virgin Island starts tonight at 9pm on Channel 4.