Animator Max Gilardi, 38, known for PONY.MOV parodies and Brain Dump analyses, posted on August 2 that he’s not thinking clearly and will reconsider his earlier announced plans.
On August 1, Gilardi hosted a livestream on his YouTube channel where he disclosed his decision to seek medically assisted suicide in Switzerland, citing the unbearable, compounding agony of his long-standing battle with severe fibromyalgia. Gilardi has amassed more than 2.1 million YouTube subscribers through animated series including PONY.MOV, Jerry, and Brain Dump.
In 2024, Gilardi revealed his fibromyalgia diagnosis to the world through a live stream. The chronic condition took a severe toll. The illness causes immense fatigue, difficulty in performing basic tasks and has limited his work as an animator; over time, he has also struggled with uncontrollable drooling and tinnitus.
During the August 1 broadcast titled “A Perfectly Normal Stream,” Gilardi opened with a prerecorded statement. “Now, this is the part where I remind you: up at the top of the screen, what does it say? It says, ‘Don’t freak out.’ Look at those words and remember: don’t freak out. All of this, compounded together, has kind of led me to feel that my life has reached its natural conclusion,” he said.
The animator described his financial collapse. “I’m constantly, constantly just running out of the money that I do have. It’s embarrassing to have to admit that you have no money, but naturally, I did try to avoid ending up here. I can’t really afford to go to the doctor anymore. I’ve had a lot of outstanding medical bills,” Gilardi said.
Medical debt spiraled into credit card crisis. “Eventually, they all went to some collection agency, and, you know, I was getting a lot of letters from them” from collection attempts, Gilardi revealed.
He explained the impossible math of his situation. “He believes he cannot pay off his debt because he would need to work a lot and earn a lot to do so, which his sickness won’t allow. On the other hand, as Max Gilardi also told his audience, he can’t just retire because he’s too sick to work. To retire, he would need to make a lot of money to cover his living and medical expenses for the rest of his life. Due to his sickness, he cannot do that much work,” according to coverage of the stream.
After weighing all options, “After considering every option I could think of, ultimately, that solution has taken the form of doctor-assisted euthanasia,” Gilardi said.
He cautioned viewers it was not imminent. “I’m not dead right now, and I won’t be dead tomorrow.” He suggested he could continue streaming for another year or two, but did not reveal a fixed date, name an assisted-dying organization, or say that he had submitted an application.
He explained that he was considering crowdfunding enough money to remain in his apartment for another year while sorting through his belongings and arranging care for his pet before traveling.
The announcement exploded online. Within minutes, clips of the livestream flooded Twitter, Reddit, and TikTok. Fans and fellow creators expressed shock and concern across social media platforms.
But less than 24 hours later, Gilardi reversed course. “JEEEEZ you guys okay fine haha jk just kidding!! Nevermind!! Jk just kidding jk jk!” he initially wrote on X.
The second post was more direct. “Decided I’m not thinking clearly, will reassess.” While the animator has not definitively said that he is abandoning the idea, the update suggests he is stepping back from the decision and reconsidering his options.
Gilardi has indicated that he is reconsidering his plans after his announcement sparked an outpouring of concern from fans. He drew widespread empathy online for his chronic illness fight.
In the viral moment spanning August 1-2, Gilardi had shared an emotional update about his health struggles that alarmed millions of followers. The chronic illness causes him immense fatigue, difficulty in performing basic tasks and has limited his work as an animator; Gilardi can no longer work the way he used to, and his life has become much harder since his fibromyalgia diagnosis. He discussed an unexplained condition he calls “slobbermouth,” which causes constant saliva and mucus production, affects his speech, and makes livestreaming increasingly difficult. Repeated medical tests had been inconclusive and he claimed he could no longer afford further appointments after accumulating medical bills and credit card debt.
On Friday, August 1, Gilardi livestreamed his prepared statement. On Saturday, August 2, after the internet’s reaction, he posted his reconsideration on social media. Gilardi also acknowledged that some of the information he had found about Switzerland could be incorrect.
No fundraiser has been launched at the time of writing.