Amy Schumer Just Successfully Ruined Butts For Everyone For All Eternity

Throughout the years, there have been a shocking number of anthems written about the booty.

Most recently, we’ve endured Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda

…and stared in fascination at Jennifer Lopez’s Booty.

But really, nothing will prepare you for what you’re about to see and hear.

Amy Schumer’s Inside Amy will be back for another season at Comedy Central, which is great news all on its own. Even better is that instead of a mildly entertaining promo video that we’ll probably forget as soon as we’ve watched, there is a music video. And not just any music video, but one which will shoot down one of society’s most absurd and frankly Freudian fixations — the Booty.

This hilarious booty jam is based on an old schoolhouse rhyme, which is really nowhere near as tame as it sounds.

“Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.”

You get the picture. It’s basically what fifth-grade scandals are made of.

The video stars Amber Rose, whose substantial booty has literally overshadowed entertainment news.

Method Man also makes an appearance, making an astute observation…

…Meanwhile, Jemima Kirke and Amber Tamblyn concentrate on trying to drum up business for their beverage stand.

Trust us, there’s no way to un-hear this masterpiece.

So next time you find yourself staring unapologetically at the perk behinds of a celeb, it’s worth remembering: