17 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Wyoming

Wyoming is a special place. That is if you deem ugly scenery, surly locals and out-and-out boredom special. Here are 18 reasons you should never visit the squalor that is Wyoming.

#1. Mountains? More like molehills.

Grand Teton National Park is basically flat as a pancake.

#2. The locals are ill-tempered and agitated.

If you’re looking for stress, you’ll find it in Cody, Wyoming.

#3. There’s honestly nothing to do.

Yellowstone National Park. The key word here is yawn.

#4. If you’re looking for wildlife, keep on looking.

Wild mustangs in Lovell? An ant-farm is more interesting.

#5. You want real cowboys? Rent a John Wayne flick.

Sheridan. Where the 10-gallon hats are about 5 gallons short.

#6. The people are an unfriendly brood.

Mean. Nasty.

#7. Take a walk outside and you’re knee-deep in clutter.

Jackson River: Would it kill you people to pick up after yourselves?

#8. Whatever.

The Grand Targhee slopes are no place for ski-lovers.

#9. This is where mother nature went to throw up.

One word: Ewww. Who’d want to visit Grand Teton National Park?

#10. Just leave your camera at home.

Limit your stay in Dubois to half a day. Max.

#11. You want fresh air? Pack the gas mask.

Take a deep breath in the Wind River Range. Hack! Cough! Wheez!

#12. There are just a grubby bunch of ranchers there, right?

For pete’s sake, Miss Wyoming, take a shower!

#13. A bigger cultural wasteland there has never been.

If you like art, the Rare Gallery ain’t for you.

#14. Everybody is sooo slothful and lazy.


People are basically comatose in Cloud Peak.

#15. The scenery sucks.

Devil’s Tower is U.G.L.Y.

#16. Yellowstone. Shmellowstone.

Go to your local park. You’ll have a better time.

#17. So this is Wyoming. Is armpit too good a word?