#1.
BATMAN: I got you flowers
CATWOMAN: Put them in this vase
BATMAN: Ok
CATWOMAN: *pushes vase off counter while maintaining eye contact*— Floyd (@dafloydsta) September 8, 2015
#2.
https://twitter.com/blake_kennedy93/status/777566757674442752
#3.
*on phone* Sure I can come over! Let me–
Cat curled up on my lap: *makes throat slice gesture with claw*
No nvm, I'm just going to stay in
— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) December 28, 2014
#4.
Cat just chilling in Brockley Sainsbury's. Security tried to remove him. He sauntered straight back in. pic.twitter.com/MotEBFuzKr
— Jenny Stevens (@jenny_stevens) November 11, 2015
#5.
Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That's pretty typical cat behavior….
— 🌧 PRC 🌧 (@PetiteRainCity) January 24, 2015
#6.
Search History:
Cat armor
Buy armor for cats
Cat jousting tournaments
How to stop armored cats
Cat army how to stop
national guard phone #— former Shark (@AbrasiveGhost) April 26, 2015
#7.
One time I woke up and there was a cat sleeping on my bed that I'd never seen before and I just said "oh hello" and went back to sleep.
— Baby Swayze (a cat) (@buhsbaby_baby) June 7, 2015
#8.
For my cat's birthday I'm covering my coffee table with change, bottle caps, pens & gum wrappers so he can just knock it all onto the floor.
— Jessie (@NicCageMatch) June 1, 2014
#9.
if my cat doesn't like you then i can't like you
sorry i don't make the rules— madison (@mtaucoin) June 5, 2016
#10.
Sometimes I wonder if I spoil the cat, seeing him with his iPad, in his yurt. pic.twitter.com/45ScY3Rloe
— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) January 21, 2015
#11.
*takes picture of cat*
*shows cat the picture*— guz (@balls_ignorer) May 5, 2014
#12.
CATS: We got a lifetime of naps and belly rubs. What about you?
HUMANS: Superior intellect
C: Cool what's it for?
H: Math and feeling bad— Hippo (@InternetHippo) September 21, 2014
#13.
Saying "Bless You" out loud when my cat sneezes makes me
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) November 16, 2015
#14.
When your girlfriend goes out of town and tells you "don't forget to feed our cat." pic.twitter.com/cJk1VRVzUQ
— Chase Stout ✈️ (@ChaserStout) September 26, 2016
#15.
Hey sorry I'm late, I had to hold my cat like a baby.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 10, 2015
#16.
Sorry I didn't pick up when you called, I was reenacting funny Broad City bits for my cat
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) October 22, 2015
#17.
Me: *says we should not be slaves to the economy *
Also me: *bought a heart bowl and chicken sticks for my cat's birthday *— Crêpes ☭ (@nosdamae) August 3, 2016
#18.
My relationship with my cat is like when Leia says "I love you" and Han says "I know" except then Han knocks over everything on my desk
— Kendra W ✨ (@kendrawcandraw) September 13, 2016
