BATMAN: I got you flowers
CATWOMAN: Put them in this vase
CATWOMAN: *pushes vase off counter while maintaining eye contact*
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) September 8, 2015
I had every intention of doing laundry but my cat seriously bullied me into cuddling with her. Who owns who?
— Blake (@ablakekennedy) September 18, 2016
*on phone* Sure I can come over! Let me–
Cat curled up on my lap: *makes throat slice gesture with claw*
No nvm, I'm just going to stay in
— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) December 28, 2014
Cat just chilling in Brockley Sainsbury's. Security tried to remove him. He sauntered straight back in. pic.twitter.com/MotEBFuzKr
— Jenny Stevens (@jenny_stevens) November 11, 2015
Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That's pretty typical cat behavior….
— emmy (@PetiteRainCity) January 24, 2015
Buy armor for cats
Cat jousting tournaments
How to stop armored cats
Cat army how to stop
national guard phone #
— said Drumpf at the restaurant & everybody clapped (@AbrasiveGhost) April 26, 2015
For my cat's birthday I'm covering my coffee table with change, bottle caps, pens & gum wrappers so he can just knock it all onto the floor.
— summer goth 🦇 (@NicCageMatch) June 1, 2014
if my cat doesn't like you then i can't like you
sorry i don't make the rules
— madison (@mtaucoin) June 5, 2016
Sometimes I wonder if I spoil the cat, seeing him with his iPad, in his yurt. pic.twitter.com/45ScY3Rloe
— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) January 21, 2015
Saying "Bless You" out loud when my cat sneezes makes me
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) November 16, 2015
Hey sorry I'm late, I had to hold my cat like a baby.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 10, 2015
Sorry I didn't pick up when you called, I was reenacting funny Broad City bits for my cat
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) October 22, 2015
Me: *says we should not be slaves to the economy *
Also me: *bought a heart bowl and chicken sticks for my cat's birthday *
— Crêpes ☭ (@nosdamae) August 3, 2016