Airport cashier: "Have a safe flight." Me: "You too!" I CAN NEVER COME HERE AGAIN.
— Jenny Lawson (@TheBloggess) November 1, 2015
Oh dear.
Soon, people everywhere were tweeting their most embarrassing moments at Lawson, with hilarious effect.
@TheBloggess I was once thanked by a grieving family member for coming to the funeral. I responded, ” no, thank YOU!!” Worst!!!
— JCVC (@JamieClairity) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess The director of my play asked the audience to “turn off their phones and vibrators” instead of setting phones to vibrate.
— Doesnt Speak Klingon (@NotKlingonRed) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess noticed the blind man approaching me wasn’t sure where I was so called out ‘on your right’, I was on his left. He corrected me.
— tanya phillips (@tanyaphillips18) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess The handsomest man I’ve ever seen once sat down next to me & said “Hi.” I responded with “I’m eating a tootsie roll.” He left.
— Daize (@Daize_Plays) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess I apologised to a woman I nearly bumped into in a record store. It was my reflection in the window. I just dyed my hair blonde
— You Know Who (@mental_nigella_) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess Walked up to a baby-holding stranger (thinking it was my sister) at my daughter’s soccer game and said “Give me the baby.” ?
— hkell (@hkell) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess Told a one armed man to tell his mother the flowers I just put together for her cost him an arm and a leg.
— Jen (@ItsThatJenGirl) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess I texted my boss at the end of my FIRST DAY in the new job with: “Heading out. Love you.” intended for my boyfriend.
— Angela Bassa (@angebassa) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess I took a call at work & tried to transfer it. I was the only person there. I pretended to be someone else w/ a British accent.
— MJ (@Morticat) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess A friend went placed her order at drivethru. She then heard “Could you drive up to the speaker you’re talking to the trash can”
— Kelly B (@GotCookies) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess After flunking a job interview, got up, shook everyone’s hands, and walked into the coat closet.
— Noah Vail (@noahvail) November 2, 2015
@TheBloggess I ended a supposedly professional work email to Alcoholics Anonymous with “cheers, Sara”
— Just Sara (@SaraVey) November 1, 2015
@TheBloggess I was looking for clip on sunglasses to go over my prescription glasses. Asked the pharmacist at CVS if they sold “strap ons.”
— rdweatherly (@rdweatherly) November 1, 2015
And Lawson’s response to all these gems of awkward hilarity?
My God, I love you people.
— Jenny Lawson (@TheBloggess) November 1, 2015