If your current partner is named Ben, you might find yourself part of an emerging phenomenon.
Each relationship is unique, and not every Ben will be associated with what is being called the ‘Ben stage.’ However, the widespread attention this trend has received online suggests there are quite a few Bens fitting this narrative.
The ‘Ben Stage’ has gained popularity on TikTok, with numerous users sharing their experiences of dating a guy named Ben.
It’s not just one particular ‘Ben’ being highlighted, but rather any guy with that name.
Currently, Bens have become synonymous with the archetypal bad guy on the internet, with thousands of TikTok videos documenting people’s ‘Ben’ experiences.
“My Ben stage put me in therapy,” one user openly shared, while another commented, “The Ben stage is real.”
“My Ben stage ruined me,” added a third.
It’s important to clarify that not all individuals named Ben are problematic, but rather, relationships sometimes don’t work out, and many have been through such experiences with a Ben.
Tyla spoke to a woman named Maisie about her own ‘Ben Stage.’
She recounted, “We were in college, first year. He was in my English Lit class and I thought he was super cute and cool because he went to all the gigs and he was the indie boy that all the indie girls liked.”
Maisie and Ben attended a party which turned chaotic, and after being kicked out, they ended up at McDonald’s.
“Me and Ben went for a short walk and then he gave me a kiss,” Maisie continued. “We kissed and went back inside and he NEVER spoke to me again – ever.”
Despite being ghosted, Maisie was taken aback when Ben invited her to a gig the next day, only to avoid her every time she looked his way.
When they did finally converse, he ‘corrected [her] on an Arctic Monkeys lyric’.
Ouch.
Reflecting on it, Maisie said: “Then we literally never spoke ever again. I learned never to be 16 again.”
https://www.tiktok.com/@username/video/7202689284682321195
As it appears, the answer is no.
Dating coach Hayley Quinn provides insight: “We all know what the ‘Ben stage’ is and now finally it has a name. The ‘Ben stage’ is all about being stuck dating one unsuitable, and unavailable guy after another.”
Hayley notes this stage often occurs when you’re seeking commitment, but each dating experience ends in disappointment.
To break free from this pattern, Hayley suggests starting to ‘advocate for yourself in your relationships’.
She advises: “If a guy says he’s not looking for commitment (and you are) take him at his word and get out of there.”