Many people assume that the guidelines for a first date are straightforward, but there are some questions you might want to avoid.
This doesn’t mean you should refrain from asking overly personal questions like their bra size or their number of sexual partners; instead, there are seemingly innocent questions that could backfire on you.
Dating coaches Blaine Anderson and Grace Lee have recently offered their guidance to those in search of love.
You might think politics is a taboo topic for a first date, but Anderson suggests that if it’s a subject you’re passionate about and a crucial factor in a potential relationship, ‘you’re probably better off bringing them up on a first date rather than waiting,’ she told CNBC.
So, if politics is permissible, what should be avoided?
Anderson advises steering clear of inquiries that aren’t enjoyable, as a first date should be fun.
“The only category of questions I’d advise singles to avoid outright on early dates is around dating history,” she explained.
“There’s no need to bring exes into your first dates. Stay present, and focus on the here and now.”
It might seem flattering that your date wants to see you again, but Grace Lee, a New York City-based dating coach, advises against trying to plan the next date while still on the first. Instead, take the time to decide if you genuinely want to see them again.
She said: “Planning for the second date is a form of courtship, a form of testing that mutual interest. That’s why I like to leave the first date open. I like leaving that planning process intact. Now, one person has to take a little bit of a risk.”
Additionally, asking someone directly if they’d like to see you again might make them feel pressured to say yes.
Prolonging a date that’s going well can sometimes create a false sense of how well things are actually going, according to Lee.
Rather than extending your date for hours, it’s better to break it into subsequent dates.
“As good as it feels, even if you’re on the most amazing date I’d encourage people to stop after the second round of drinks,” explained Lee.
“Leave wanting more. If the magic is there, it will lead to a second date.”