Financial status: taping together a dollar bill that my toddler ripped to shreds
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 29, 2016
My wife said we would save money on Halloween candy if we bought it at Aldi so I guess we're handing out Twicks, Skattles, and 4 Musketeers.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 25, 2016
I'm going to Target, I'll be back when the money is all gone.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) September 11, 2016
I just want enough money to hire a nanny and go check into a fancy hotel room to hide from my family when I'm sick is that too much to ask
— sweatpants cher🔸 (@House_Feminist) December 8, 2015
My wife and kids are on vacation for a week. I think I'm gonna use the money saved on water and food to buy a Mercedes.
— Rich Cromwell (@rcromwell4) July 2, 2016
If I tell the kids I can't buy them something the standard response is "JUST USE THE CARD" so clearly they're set up for financial success.
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) September 28, 2016
If I had a dollar for every time my kids asked me to buy them something or take them somewhere, I could afford to actually do all that shit.
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) June 10, 2016
Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 12, 2016
Started at the bottom now we're having hotdogs again tonight, kids.
— Burning Mom (@MomOnFire) September 12, 2016
In case you're a newer parent, my kids are playing in a cardboard box and pretending that bars of soap are toys, so save yourself some money
— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) August 9, 2016
*The night before week four of t-ball*
Me: You ready for your next t-ball game, pal?
4yo: What's t-ball?
Me: A waste of money, apparently.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 10, 2015