Finding out your boyfriend is cheating feels awful, and you’re probably very hurt right now. When you feel ready, talk to your boyfriend about what happened. To cope with your heartbreak, work through your emotions and take good care of yourself. Eventually, you’ll be able to move on with or without him in your life.
Confront your boyfriend
Sit down and have a serious conversation with your boyfriend. Ask your boyfriend what happened, and how he feels about the relationship. Make sure to listen to his side of the story before you jump to conclusions.
If he denies it but you’re unsure, trust your instincts. You know when something isn’t right in your relationship. If it’s over for you, gently let him know and tell him that you’re done. If not, talk about how to move forward in the relationship.
When you confront your boyfriend, be ready for a possible emotional response. He might want to calm down before he talks; if this is the case, let him take his time and don’t push him to respond right away. It’s a good idea to have a plan for how you’re going to respond if he comes clean. Are you planning on staying with him? Are you going to break up with him? Do you want space from the relationship? Having a plan will help keep your emotions in check and ensure that your boyfriend tells the whole truth.
Give yourself space
If he was cheating, you’re probably feeling betrayed, angry and heartbroken. This is perfectly normal—and there’s no rush to get over it. You might feel like you need space from the relationship to think about what happened and how you feel about it. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with your emotions, so take as much time as you need. Let yourself grieve, and remember that you are not to blame for his actions.
It’s easy to put your life on hold when you’re going through a difficult time, but it’s important that you keep living and take good care of yourself in the meantime. Make sure to carve out some time for yourself each day—whether that means taking a walk outside, reading a book, or doing something else you enjoy.
When you’re ready, spend time with friends and have a good time. If it’s safe to do so, talk about what happened with the people who are close to you—their support can be a great source of comfort.
If you want to give your relationship another chance, it’s important that both of you are honest with each other about the experience. Is he willing to receive help? Can he handle what happened and be accountable for his actions? Work together to come up with ways to make sure this doesn’t happen again, like putting in place boundaries or talking about what’s going on more often.
Be patient with each other, and realize that trust takes a long time to rebuild. If you can’t move forward together as a couple, end the relationship. Make sure you take enough time to think things through first.
Remember: There’s no shame in either decision of staying with or leaving someone who cheated on you. It’s ultimately your decision to continue the relationship or not. For your own mental health and well being, it’s important not to hold grudges. Forgiving them will allow you to move on and feel better.
If you are struggling with the idea of forgiving them, reach out to a counselor or therapist for help.
It might be difficult to deal with your cheating boyfriend, but the best thing you can do is talk about what happened and stay true to yourself. Remember that only you have the power to make the decisions that are best for your life.
Accepting what happened will help you find closure, and make it easier to move forward with your relationship—or without it. You don’t have to deal with this alone; let others support you as well. Remember that everything happens for a reason, and good things can come from bad situations.