Howie Mandel revealed he “almost died” after self-medicating during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The “America’s Got Talent” host, 70, made the admission Monday on Hoda Kotb’s “Joy 101” podcast, where he detailed how his OCD and ADHD spiraled into dangerous substance use as the outbreak unfolded. Mandel told Kotb, 62, that he is now medicated and in therapy to manage his anxiety, but the early pandemic period pushed him past his breaking point.
“I have such a fear of those lows because they’re incredibly painful and hard to navigate,” Mandel explained. He described his constant effort to maintain mental equilibrium, gesturing toward his head as he spoke. “My life consists of trying to balance up here,” he said. “So I’ve medicated myself. And I’m talking about prescription medication, not that I’m self-medicating, though I did that during [the COVID-19 pandemic] and I almost died.”
When Kotb pressed for more details about the self-medication, Mandel reassured her that he has since gotten sober. He traced the spiral to his preexisting germaphobia, which the actual pandemic amplified beyond his ability to cope. “But during the pandemic, I couldn’t sleep because part of my rumination is … I make fun of it, but I’m a germaphobe and I live like I’m in a pandemic anyhow,” the comedian said. “And then where there [was] a real one, it was hard for me to handle that.”
Mandel acknowledged that millions struggled during that period, but said his underlying conditions left him uniquely vulnerable. “It was hard for a lot of people, but I wasn’t strong enough to handle it, and I couldn’t sleep, so I started taking gummies.”
The gummies soon proved insufficient, and Mandel escalated to smoking and drinking in a desperate attempt to shut down his mind. He was seeking to “escape and make [himself] unconscious,” he told Kotb. The consequences grew life-threatening as his wife, Terry, repeatedly found him unresponsive.
“There were times when my wife, she couldn’t wake me up, or she thought she was going to take me to the hospital,” Mandel continued. “It wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t good, and it’s not an excuse, but it was really bad.”
Terry Mandel, whom he married in 1980, ultimately issued an ultimatum that forced him toward recovery. “My wife just went, ‘I can’t do this. This is really tiring. Go talk to somebody,'” Mandel recalled. He called her a “hero” for the intervention.
In the viral moment that foreshadowed his private struggles, Mandel had publicly embraced pandemic precautions with characteristic dark humor. In May 2020, he said he was already on medication and “moving my therapist into a whole new tax bracket on the phone.” He joked about the global crisis with grim levity: “Some people call it a pandemic. I call it ‘told ya!'” That same month, he quipped that he had contributed to PPE shortages by hoarding gloves, masks and hazmat suits for 50 years. He was photographed in March 2020 arriving at “America’s Got Talent” in full protective gear—a hazmat suit, gas mask and orange rubber gloves—telling reporters, “I can’t wait for this to be over.”
Mandel told Kotb he now uses distraction techniques and tries to stay “in the moment” to quiet what he described as “dark, reoccurring thoughts” that represent his “mind’s resting place.” The podcast appearance marked his latest effort to destigmatize mental health discussions after decades of public advocacy.
Mandel continues his tenure as a judge on “America’s Got Talent,” which films in Los Angeles.