FOS (Freezing Office Syndrome) is no laughing matter — it’s an affliction that happens to the best of us.
#1. The symptoms are unmistakable.
Chattering teeth, possibly frostbitten body parts, and frequent complaints to HR being some of them.
#2. Sufferers of this syndrome often endure their pain quietly.
Now you understand what happened during The Cold War.
#3. A lap blanket is the only thing between you and the frozen tundra that is your desk.
It takes a lot of will power not to drape it over your entire body.
#4. One jacket, two jacket, three.
One is never enough.
#5. But even that does not guarantee warmth.
“I’m running out of sweaters!” *cries*
#6. Your poor, poor fingers get the most abuse.
They’re so vulnerable, just exposed to the elements like that. More than once have you contemplated using gloves, but worried about your boss’ reaction to the reduced efficiency.
#7. Management just keeps mentioning “centralized air-conditioning” every time you bring it up.
EXPLAIN THAT TO MY DEAD FINGERS, BRUCE. This has to be some sort of HR violation.
#8. You don’t even try to look cute anymore.
Who’s going to see your outfit under the numerous layers of insulation?
#9. But for the especially-creative, we’ve learned to incorporate coverups into outfits.
Comfortable, *and* stylish! I know, I’m proud of me too.
#10. Sudden death meets the person who forgets to bring a jacket.
And if you do survive this harrowing ordeal, you make sure it never happens again.
#11. In some offices, personal space heaters are apparently a fire hazard.
BUT WHY GOD WHY?
#12. You have developed several techniques to ensure your warmth, such as the constant hand-rubbing method.
“Aaaaaah, finally. Relief.”
#13. Blowing on both hands also provides a temporary solace from the endless blizzard.
“I need more… mouths.”
#14. But the perfect method to provide internal heating is to make a cup of boiling hot coffee.
It’s ok. We’ve thought about plunging our hands into the hot liquid, too.
#15. It’s always winter in your office.
Is it summer outside? You can’t even tell from in here.
#16. But as soon as you step out…
“Just let me thaw in peace.”
#17. Dark magic must be the reason why your office mates can wear t-shirts to work.
Meanwhile, you’re wrapped up like a living mummy.
#18. This may be hard to hear, but there is currently no cure yet for this dreaded disease.
Sorry, your icicle fingers will have to stay that way for now.
#19. Guess you’re just gonna have to deal with it.
Happy hypothermia for all eternity!