Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
— Justin Shanes (@justinshanes) November 29, 2016
"murder" she wrote
"your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said
"murd3R" she wrote, frowning
— Joe West (@joejwest) January 5, 2015
Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin
— Fill Werrell (@FillWerrell) January 23, 2013
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom. pic.twitter.com/IOo89Vypy7
— chelsea anét (@chelseaanet) March 16, 2014
me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?!
Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 11, 2016
People are writing condolences on my Grandma's Facebook that sound more like Yelp reviews of her. Great woman, very loving, 5/5 stars
— Bitch Mittens (@Jesssicle) June 6, 2016
*forgets Netflix password*
*sends email reset*
*forgets email password*
*sends reset to backup*
20 resets later:
*opens 2nd Netflix account*
— Noah Kinsey (@thenoahkinsey) July 25, 2016
My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.
— Brad Broaddus (@BradBroaddus) May 1, 2016
When your internet goes out and you are forced to get to know your surroundings pic.twitter.com/nHYrLkV9IR
— Stumbler Popular (@StumblerPopular) June 26, 2016
AMAZON: Did you buy a watch?!
ME: Yeah, it's-
AMAZON: You might want THIS watch!
ME: No I already-
AMAZON: ONLY WATCHES FOR YOU, FOREVERMORE
— Brian Doyle (@WritePlay) November 25, 2016
*turns on internet*
computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) October 25, 2016
The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had pic.twitter.com/LOwqS3vF8w
— Melanie Bracewell (@meladoodle) February 24, 2016
i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) February 24, 2016
"so today I was…."
"I just hate when.."
"Lemme tell y'all what just happe…."
"My boyfriend.." pic.twitter.com/ADZ392KV4y
— . (@CoreysThirst) June 15, 2016
I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people
— folu (@notfolu) August 27, 2015
Google isn't much help if you can't think of the word 'zebra' pic.twitter.com/mLa7mkWzCc
— New Year Worse Me (@SortaBad) April 25, 2015
Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending.
— John Green (@johndashgreen) April 2, 2013