It’s that time of year again: loved-up couples hold hands and enjoy romantic restaurant dinners, while the rest of us make jokes about how lame Valentine’s Day is on Twitter. Here are some of the funniest.
Guys think girls are hard to please like no show up w some cheap flowers and a rotisserie chicken and she will love u forever
— nicci 💕 (@niccisaint) February 10, 2016
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
I have a valentine, but she goes to another school. also she's modeling overseas right now.
— lawblob (@lawblob) February 14, 2015
Let's all take a moment of silence this Valentine's Day to think about the couples who started dating end of January
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) February 14, 2015
You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 14, 2015
Blow her mind this Valentine's Day by PUTTING YOUR OWN DAMN DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER BRANDON THEY DON'T NEED TO "SOAK"
— New Year Worse Me (@SortaBad) February 13, 2015
This Valentines give her what she really wants: a throne forged from the bones of her enemies & a relentless reign of terror over the masses
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 13, 2015
Sending flowers to your significant other at work is a great way to tell all their coworkers that you used to have $60.
— Matt (@sucittaM) February 14, 2012