Attention all parents-to-be, new parents, and seasoned parents: there are ten compelling reasons to regularly offer compliments and praise to your child.
Parenting is undoubtedly challenging—there’s no argument there—and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
Mistakes are inevitable, but it’s crucial to learn from past generations and attempt to break any harmful cycles to ensure your child grows to be the happiest and most balanced version of themselves.
Psychologists have highlighted how something as simple as regular compliments can significantly impact a child’s future well-being.
Children who don’t receive recognition for their accomplishments or support during their formative years may experience low confidence and self-esteem.
Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, a psychologist and media advisor for the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, shared with Yahoo! Life that adults who lacked compliments during childhood might struggle with their self-worth.
“They may feel they are not good enough or capable of success and can internalize the absence of praise as a sign that they lack value,” she stated.
A lack of compliments can also leave adults unsure of how to engage in such conversations. Thriveworks psychologist Dr. Connally Barry notes this awkwardness can make their praise seem inauthentic.
This difficulty in giving compliments can lead to struggles in forming and maintaining connections with others.
Such challenges can result in anxiety about social interactions, potentially causing isolation or affecting job performance, especially in roles requiring strong interpersonal skills.
If a child grows up with only negative feedback and no positive reinforcement, they may develop a pessimistic outlook on life.
DatingAdvice expert Dr. Wendy Walsh points out: “True pessimism is partly genetic, but that gene must be activated by the environment.”
Lack of recognition can lead to questioning one’s efforts, which can persist into adulthood without sufficient childhood praise.
Dr. Barry explains that children deprived of compliments may struggle to find enthusiasm or effort due to a belief that their efforts won’t be rewarded.
However, the opposite can also occur.
Some children who lack compliments might become overly eager to seek the praise they missed growing up.
Yet, they might not be adept at accepting praise, often doubting their worthiness.
Such individuals may also have difficulty acknowledging their own achievements.
Dr. Lira de la Rosa explains: “Without having been praised as children, some adults struggle to celebrate their own accomplishments.”
“They may downplay successes or feel guilty about acknowledging them, as they are unfamiliar with receiving recognition,” he continues.
This situation can lead to setting excessively high standards, contributing to issues like overthinking, anxiety, and burnout.
Adults may become highly sensitive to feedback, perceiving even constructive criticism as an attack.
This sensitivity can create challenges in professional settings and in personal relationships.
People who lacked parental praise might accept less than they deserve in relationships, struggling with boundaries and defensiveness.
Dr. Walsh observes: “Deep down, people who were not adored by their parents as children can’t conceive that an adult romantic partner can adore them. Love isn’t about finding happiness. Love is about finding the familiar. They may choose someone who treated them like their parents did.”
Words Matter, a charity, highlights the damaging effects of verbal abuse, equating it to the harm caused by physical or sexual abuse. They provide guidance and support on their website.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. You can call or text 988 for 24-hour support or webchat at 988lifeline.org. Alternatively, reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741 for assistance.