Recent research has delved into the motivations behind why women engage in infidelity and suggests it might not necessarily spell the end for their relationships.
To some, cheating is considered the ultimate betrayal, one that could immediately terminate a relationship.
Yet, others argue that there are underlying reasons prompting individuals to cheat, and various studies have explored these motivations over time.
A new study by Alicia M. Walker Ph.D. highlights that some women choose infidelity as a way to preserve their existing relationships.
This might seem counterintuitive at first glance.
Walker clarifies that this is not an ‘endorsement’ of cheating. In her article for Psychology Today, she writes: “Cheating is a messy, imperfect solution, a desperate workaround.
“These women aren’t celebrating their affairs. They are making the best of a bad situation, often landing in sexless marriages where conversations about their needs had gone nowhere.”
Through her research, Walker found that the women she interviewed were not seeking an escape from their marriages but were ‘frustrated, unfulfilled, and out of options’.
Walker elaborated: “Rather than torching their marriages, they found a workaround. They avoided a messy, heartbreaking divorce by engaging in a carefully managed, highly strategic affair to meet their needs without losing what they valued most.”
According to Walker, the motivation for these women was not to find the love of their life or settle down with their affair partner.
Instead, the focus was on achieving ‘orgasms’.
Walker stated: “This wasn’t about romance. They weren’t daydreaming about falling in love with some starry-eyed Romeo. No one was writing love letters or whispering sweet nothings.
“They weren’t looking for connection. They were looking for climaxes.
“Not validation. Not butterflies. Not someone to gaze into their eyes and tell them they were beautiful. Just orgasms. Full stop.
“They weren’t searching for Prince Charming. They already had one at home. What they needed was someone to meet a specific, unmet need—nothing more, nothing less.”
One participant in the study shared her reasons for cheating, citing her husband’s erectile dysfunction as the primary cause.
“If my husband didn’t have ED, these guys wouldn’t stand a chance,” the anonymous woman conveyed to Walker.