#1. You mean he has to eat HOT muffins?!
#2. But pleeeease, mom?
#3. The horror.
#4. To be fair, Miley Cyrus would upset anyone.
#5. No, you can’t take your favorite tampon outside.
#6. Yes, he’s a nice lobster. No, he’s not coming home.
#7. Oven gloves are heartbreakingly impractical.
#8. Human hands let you down at the worst times.
#9. But he looks so friendly!
#10. Even the Obamas don’t know what to do.
#11. What kind of mother are you?
#12. Even the vague possibility of going outdoors can be traumatic.
#13. Nothing worse than losing your rubber ducky.
#14. End cheese cruelty now.
#15. Could this dog be any more inconsiderate?
#16. Never trust a microwave.
#17. EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN IS A LIE.
#18. The betrayal is real.
#19. Moms never let kids have any fun.
#20. In fact, moms are just the WORST.
#21. Think of the environment, please.
#22. He doesn’t look to happy about it, either.
#23. How else can I show my affections for the doormat?
#24. Bill Murray knows how to pose for snaps with kids.
#25. And this kid’s had enough of your stupid rules.
