“Is two exclamation marks too much? Maybe it needs an emoji? I should at least give it 30 minutes before I reply anyway, I don’t want to seem to keen.”
If you haven’t had at least one of these thoughts while composing a text to someone you’re interested in, you’re doing it wrong.
It’s natural to want to try and constantly stay in touch with a potential new partner, even if you only have a few words to do so. Right?
Well, according to dating expert Sabrina Zohar, that actually might not be the best approach at all.
Sabrina, who has amassed almost 900,000 followers on TikTok with her advice, shared her tips on texting in a video and explained what not to do when you pick up your phone.
“Stop trying to text in order to gain control of a situation,” she began the clip.
“I see this every f**king day.”
Sabrina went on to explain that while she understands a lot of people are anxious at the beginning of a relationship, texting them without a proper reason is just you ‘trying to control the situation’.
Sabrina continued: “Dating means there are no guarantees, and it takes two willing f**king people, two participants, to decide, ‘Hey, I want to do this. You wanna do this. Let’s go’.”
With that in mind, Sabrina noted that if you ‘actually have something to say’, then text away. But if you’re simply texting the other person as a way of getting their attention, then that’s a no-go, as it’s just your anxiety talking.
“Part of dating with intention is interacting with intention, texting with intention; all of the above,” she further explained.
“If you don’t have something of depth to offer to a conversation or something to start a conversation with that makes sense, then please stop using texting as a means of trying to control the situation.”
If you do keep texting for the sake of it, Sabrina warned it could easily ‘blow up in your face’.
People have since commented on the video thanking Sabrina for her words of wisdom.
“I appreciate every post of yours so much. I bring you up in therapy and dig deep!” gushed one TikToker.
Another said: “I love this message! Also … dating does not mean constant access. You don’t need to interact every day.”
A third added: “You have helped me so much with my anxiety, I greatly appreciate your videos and love your podcast.”
Sabrina gives out loads of other tips on her TikTok page, so if you’re in need of some dating advice you know where to go!
@sabrina.zohar Texting and control in dating. #text #texting #control #datingadvice #anxiousattachment #anxiousattachmentstyle #datingcoach #manipulationtechniques